lately my life has been a series of “sort of.”
“do you have a job?”
“are you seeing anyone?”
“eh, sort of.”
“I heard you graduated! Congratulations!”
“I only sort of graduated…but thanks!”
“wait what do you mean?”
“so like, I don’t take classes…well, I do sort of still take classes, but like, they’re only sort of classes… I still walk in May.”
sort of is taking over my life. I think it’s just what happens when you sort of graduate, sort of have a job and sort of have no idea what your life will look like in a month.
times of great change are upon you.
or something like that.
But what do you do when you are stuck in a sort of rut? Apply for a new job. Look for that new apartment. Plan out the next few months. That’s easier said than done, though. For someone who “writes,” I loathe writing anything with hard structure. Cover letters can bite me. I’m awesome, okay? Don’t make me tell you why in three paragraphs while simultaneously blowing smoke up your company’s ass. I don’t know a damn thing about your company. I just need money and you need someone to do a job for you. Let’s not dance this dance. Let’s play this straight.
This attitude doesn’t get you far with interviewers. Understandably so.
Interviewing is like dating, only worse because your life depends on it going well in order to escape all of the “sort ofs.” It’s also a pretty widely known rule that you can’t rely on sass and sarcasm as defense mechanisms like you can on a date. It’s seen as rude instead of mysterious and sexy. Cryptic doesn’t work in an interview. Which is ironic because interviewing is, at it’s core, cryptic, like a puzzle. What do they want? Who else has been here? How do I know that I’m really the best candidate (aside from that fact that, obviously, I am inherently the best candidate because I am me [duh.])? It’s beyond sort of annoying. It’s definitively annoying. I can’t be bothered with it.
I’ve resorted to only interviewing for jobs where recruiters call me. They’re never really good jobs but some are at least half decent. Always sales, but whatever. I’ll sell my soul if I have to.
That being said, I sort of can’t move forward until I’m more than only sort of employed.
I’m probably committing career suicide with this blog.
Don’t worry. It’ll be okay. Sort of.