seven dinners of hell.

I just consumed the meal I think they would feed you at a lower level of hell.

if you think about how hell supposedly works, you would totally get a meal before entering the gates. The meal would be representative of the punishment you were about to receive for all eternity. It would go a little something like this:

  1. Level 1: incredibly spicy, but also incredibly delicious. the more you eat, the more it burns, but the better it tastes. a true catch-22.
  2. Level 2: still very spicy, less enjoyable.
  3. Level 3: it has a hint of spice that makes you tilt your head and go, is that spicy? before ultimately deciding that you’ll never reach a decision and will wonder if it was spicy for the rest of eternity. you’ll never get to taste it again, which will only feed your confusion.
  4. Level 4: no flavor at all. actual sadness on a sad, soggy, white paper plate. which is exactly what the food will taste like. resigned disappointment.
  5. Level 5: raw chicken. you will be forced to eat raw chicken, and say you enjoyed it.
  6. Level 6: raw, rotten chicken. you will be required to make mmmm sounds as you force each bite. if you refuse, don’t finish, or throw up, more rancid chicken will appear on your plate.
  7. Level 7: literal shit.

that’s really all I’ve got for you today. Happy May!



5 thoughts on “seven dinners of hell.

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