your boyfriend sucks

sorry, but he does.

The ways in which your boyfriend sucks are endless, but here I will attempt to list several of the ways in which your boyfriend is unbearable.

  1. He expects too much of you. You don’t owe your boyfriend a damn thing. You are a free human with the right, the right, THE RIGHT to make your own, your own, YOUR OWN decisions. He doesn’t get to have a say. He can suggest but you. do. not. have. to. do. ANYTHING because “your boyfriend said so” or “your boyfriend wants you to.” Do you, homegirl. Do you.
  2. When you exercise your right to do what you want to do, he gets mad. That’s a real femi-nazi you’ve got there. Nice. Leave him.
  3. When you’re mad, he’s mad at you for being mad. Or he’s upset that you’re mad but makes excuses instead of trying to figure out why you’re really mad, or what the root of the problem is, and what can be done to change it. Especially when it’s clear he is the problem – men are highly defensive creatures.
  4. He’s incompetent. He can’t won’t do anything without instruction from you. He’s essentially a child and you are essentially his replacement mother. Upgrade to a man…if you can find one. You are not your boyfriend’s mother.
  5. He puts on the facade of a man by buying you cheap flowers, chocolates, brings you wine…really stereotypical shit that doesn’t take an ounce of effort or thought. If he’s really thoughtful, he comes home with the thing that makes it better, or your favorites. Not just thoughtless things. Example: if I had a bad day, Lover #3 would come home with a personal (“personal”) sized Oreo cake, or Taco Bell, or Honey BBQ Frito twists. He wasn’t going to bring me flowers – aka something else to take care of. Chocolate makes me break out. Alcohol makes me sick. He thought about it.
  6. His masculinity is easily threatened. Any man can say he’s chill about all of this. But tell him walk away from a fight in a bar because some guy “looked at you the wrong way.” Tell your man to get over himself. Can he do it? Oh, and check and see if he actually trusts you. There is honestly nothing less attractive than jealousy, you should find it insulting when your man gets jealous over you. It means he thinks you’ll leave him, it means he has his own doubts. Get to the bottom of that, stat.
  7. He can’t let you lead. He has to call the shots. Or he only allows you to call shots at certain times, so even then he’s still in control. Think about that one long and hard, cause it’s an insidious state of being.
  8. He thinks he owns you. This is like so many of these points’ bottom line, but ultimately, he thinks of you as his girlfriend. Not as the girl he is in a relationship with. It’s a relationship. Not an ownership. Tell him to get a dog if he wants to own something.
  9. He has no problem letting you do household chores. Again, you aren’t his mom. Although, be wary of the man who rushes to do the chores for you…he may be trying to make up for a secondary problem.
  10. He fights with you about stupid things. That’s just exhausting, and no woman has time for that shit.

I mean, maybe I’m making generalizations, and I’m certainly being harsh. Sometimes, everybody sucks. But if your boyfriend does most of these things on a regular basis…raise a flag.

Singledom, baby. The water is niiiice.

XO – Haleigh

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2 thoughts on “your boyfriend sucks

  1. Haleigh, after reading this, there are many things which I’d like to say, but I’m not sure how they would be received. For now, what I’ll say is that I can honestly see your writing skills are adept for a writer with a large audience. I appreciated the amount of thought you put into writing this, and I did enjoy reading it; although I didn’t resonate with everything you wrote (even from a male perspective looking in on a woman’s perspective).
    What I’d like to say is that I’m sorry if you’ve experienced so many men (or even just one, because one will do) in your life who ended up treating you in such a way as to inspire a post such as this. We live in a world with many lost men unsure as to how to act, carrying the weight of the feeling of expectation on their shoulders. That is on man to comes to grips with and to seek counsel, but nonetheless, I’m sorry if your experiences have only led you to see man as a broken aspect of humanity. We are, indeed, all broken. But that doesn’t make the experiences we have any less painful.
    Thank you for your follow, and I pray you will experience a godly man who can be a living example of what man is called to be in this world. God bless you, Haleigh.

    Like

  2. I like this post. Some of your examples are truly annoyances. Gifts that showed no thought at all mean he’s on auto-pilot with you. Find someone who, for Valentine’s Day digs up old childhood pictures of each of you and puts them in a frame that has two heart-shaped openings. (That took thought and effort, and makes me smile every time I look at it.)
    Taking care of him like his mother is not cute. Never start doing his chores. He will get used to that real fast! Then be hurt when you come to your senses and stop it…
    Some of those points are warning signs to get out fast, while you can, before he goes psycho on you! No, jealousy is not cute, or a sign that he/she cares about you. It’s a sickness related to control issues, and usually does not have a happy ending. If a guy ever starts to try and keep you to himself and away from your friends and family, RUN!

    Liked by 1 person

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