This has been bothering me for some time now. It’s been a recurring thought, gnawing away at my inner peace and tranquility.
I hate it when people are blatantly wrong and won’t accept it.
I think that’s a 20-something of the 2010’s thing. (millennials).
The other day, David and I were driving to the store, discussing light bulbs. Now usually David, who is a girl and most certainly not named David, is bright. You could even say she’s a high wattage light bulb.
On this particular topic and on this particular day, David was not a bright light bulb. In fact, David wasn’t even really sure what a light bulb was.
David was (is?) convinced that incandescent light bulbs are fluorescent and fluorescent light bulbs are incandescent. She was adamant that this was the way, there was no other way, this was the only truth worth believing. So I, knowing what I knew, and knowing that David was deeply mistaken, and understanding that David was so deeply mistaken that there was no pulling her from the depths of confusion from which she was positioned, I conceded.
Yes, I know, none of you believe this story anymore, but I swear it’s true: I didn’t try to argue.
Well, I briefly tried to argue, but David is more stubborn than me and I really didn’t feel like fighting over light bulbs when my only evidence was “because you are wrong and I am right” and we were walking into a store. I decided to let it go, to let David actually believe the swirly tubed, white glass light bulbs were incandescent, and the clear, bulbous glass with the thin wire inside were fluorescent, and that yes, everyone else is sadly mistaken and it is a common misconception that incandescent light bulbs are actually fluorescent and vice versa.
This has been like someone holding their finger just beyond the threshold of legitimate skin contact and reminding me “I’m not touching you, Haleigh.” For seven days.
It’s like gnats hovering just above eye level, and every once in a while, one stray gnat will swoop down and cross my line of sight, thereby drawing half of my attention to the entire pack for 20 minutes before forgetting again.
David’s rock solid belief rocked my world. In the moment, David had me second guessing everything I had ever known to be true of light bulbs. Were fluorescent light bulbs the solid clear or white bulbous glass? Or has my entire life been a vicious lie?
I’ve decided to set the record straight.
So, like in all modern day disputes, I turned to the end-all-be-all of factual feuds.
I know this is true because I Googled it.
Everything Google says is verbal gold, and is worth more weight than anything else you will ever encounter.
Alright, I feel like I can sleep now.
Look what you did, David. Look what you did.