Never again, stripper scientist. Never again.
You know what that felt like?
Have you seen The Simpson’s movie…or maybe Hell on Wheels?
It felt like those moments where a wise and spiritual but clinically insane old woman traps you in a teepee for days on end, tripping on some kind of sacred tree root with a single bowl of green mush to sustain yourself. You learn a lot about yourself but you will be forever traumatized by the events that took place in that teepee.
I will never be able to walk back in there without the fear of being trapped for four. goddamn. hours.
MY PHONE DIED HALFWAY THROUGH.
It was agony. Pure agony. I cried out of frustration, I cried because I was left alone in a room to rot for what felt like eons, I cried because in 3rd grade, Zack didn’t want to hold my hand. I cried because I wanted some goldfish crackers. Who wants goldfish crackers?! I cried because there was nothing else I could do.
And then I laughed.
Isolation puts me in a weird place.
Also, that “wise old woman” robbed me blind.
Yes, you certainly do owe me dinner. A week’s worth of dinner because that’s how much of my
money sanity I just lost, dammit.
But, I suppose, this is what I get for listening to the advice of a scientist who is also a certifiable stripper.