off topic

I promised stripper scientist a blog post and I know it’s been too long since I’ve delivered. I’ve made a handful of promises: “new blog coming!” “stay tuned!” only to leave you all hanging.

It’s been 16 days since I posted faces. And, heads up, we’re about to go waaaaay off topic.

My stats are down and it’s my fault because I’m not even taking the time to post to the community pool or read the blogs I do follow. And that’s disappointing because I follow some really incredible blogs.

Summertime is here in greater Philadelphia and it has been so very, very fun. I’ve been so very, very busy. I haven’t forgotten about the blog, but I’m also not placing myself in the mindset I would like to be in to write these blogs. Honestly, very few of these blogs, if any, reflect the true capacity of which I believe myself capable of writing. I don’t execute these passages in the way I would actually like to because I never feel like taking the time to really get it right.

My excitement vanishes with the blink of an eye. I type feverishly trying not to lose interest in what I’m saying but usually my phone rings or I distract myself with Facebook and another draft falls into my blog catalog. There are six drafts sitting in the back vault of my account waiting to be finished, waiting to be published, and probably for nothing.

One is about surrealism and how much I appreciate that style of art. One is about the random mail my dad sends me. One is about the realization that somehow owning bar stools makes me more of an adult than a 22 year old who doesn’t own bar stools.

My apartment is so extra.

what 22 year old has matching furniture and area rugs and stainless steel appliances?

I’ve always liked surrealism, and it seems surreal to be living pretty closely to exactly how I wanted to be by the time I graduated college. My whole life I wanted exactly this, or almost exactly this, and I got it. Which leaves me asking…now what?

I want to publish a book…I could do that, it’s going to take time though so what else in the meantime and how do you even write a book, yes I have some idea but not really and fiction is sometimes harder to write than factual accounts…I’m off topic.

I just titled this blog off topic and now I have free reign to veer in whichever direction I choose to – kind of like life?

That’s a weird concept for me.

“Do whatever you want.” I feel like I’ve always answered to what someone else has wanted me to do…but again, I landed pretty much exactly where I wanted to be. So how can I really complain?

Anyways, what can I do now?

I can keep writing this blog. I can keep learning the ukulele. I can get a dog.

I can’t get a dog, but I’m still trying to actually figure out why I can’t get a dog. I just keep telling myself I can’t get a dog and making up lame excuses as to why that is. I really want a dog.

It’s probably a commitment and responsibility thing. I have a lot of that on my plate already, I’m not sure if I really want any more but I also refuse to sit stagnant. I’ve already been home way too often the past week or so. I crave adventure. A dog would be adventurous. I could at least take the dog on adventures. Then it could be an adventure blog. Haleigh + dog go on road trip: Cross Country Edition.

Except scratch that because I will probably never get enough time off of work to drive cross-country.

Should I have traveled before I settled down and got a “big girl job?”

No, Haleigh, you didn’t have any money.

ohh, right. 

Anyways, my life is kind of a big empty blank canvas right now, or at least that’s how I feel about it, which is probably a good thing because it means none of the crazy things that happened before are clouding my expectations for the future, but it’s also overwhelming.

I have a massive canvas before me and I’m not really sure what to paint yet.

 

 

 

 

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